Mindful Menopause/Wild Women

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I am seeing a lot of women who are walking around hot sweatly, thinning hair, tired and at their wit's end.  This is the role of the Menopause.

The situation though is that this could be one of the most creative times of a woman’s life but many women are experiencing severe discomfort with the Menopause. I wonder if the level of discomfort during the change has to do with many women trying to function in this very Patriarchal and aggressive western world. Being Peri menopausal I only have symptoms when I am doubting myself or processing a pattern or belief that is familial, and my symptoms come up in the form of heat disappear within in a minute . Fuzzy thinking does happen to me at times, but only comes when I am feeling stressed (which is infrequent because I have a no-nonsense attitude in my life to bullshit and ‘settling‘ in challenging relationships, jobs and friendships). 

So the best option for anybody during this time is to chill out, be present, and stop running on the treadmill because this is a time of rebirth, you are now setting a new path for yourself. This is the time the Body Computer is opening up to becoming Sovereign. (another post on that later) 

Your body is becoming rich with wisdom, and authenticity, but patriarchy states that you are an angry woman on the edge (I believe that is the view of Western / White Male’s patriarchal belief system that wants women to be subservient and well behaved, whilst they desire the women who is full of passion and fire).  Menopause is a time for women to own and understand they have the answers and access to complimentary methods that does work.

How to navigate the next stage of your life during the Menopause.

I have included a few points to help you on your journey, do not forget to subscribe to my email here so that I can send you the Womb Wisdom free PDF with some more resources on this subject.

• Be wild, be raw, be truthful, but honour your spirit , and listen to the Triple Goddess ( Intuition) Live as a fully powerful woman in control and acceptance of all her moods.

• As I type this powerful download I feel my ovaries stirring after a dormant time.  Never in my life have I feel so activated whilst writing. Our body responds to our internal dialogue and external environment so that we can navigate our life accordingly.

• Love yourself even through your bad days, because your emotions it will work with you in the best way possible.

• Take that class, change your jobs (yes) and reconsider those toxic relationships.

• Read up on menopause one place to start is Dr Christian Northrup’s book The Wisdom of Menopause.  There is also a great interview with her and Dr Kelly Brogan MD   click here

And Finally….

Work with me, your Spiritual Doula.

I want to invite you to work with me during this powerful time of transition and insight. My Creative Healing Method programme will create a full blueprint for you at this next stage of your life. Consider this a reinvention of your life.

The Tao of the Dark Tunnel

The Tao of the dark tunnel

I can be pretty adventurous and other times I can be a deer in headlights (this is rare for me as I am a Leo) but when this dastardly affliction hits me it can have a great impact on my life!

Think embarrassing ex-boyfriends, bad jobs, impulse buying "the offer ends at midnight” all very time consuming and sometimes painful... I say it's better to make mistakes than have regrets because mistakes are better when they come from desire not fear. (Disclaimer this does not include infidelity or other untoward desires there is no wisdom in the mistake of breaking hearts or addiction)

However there is nothing more paralyzing than fear of a possible outcome such as losing a contract, or making the right decision regarding ones career or running out of petrol whilst one is in the Blackwell tunnel!

The Blackwell tunnel

The Blackwell tunnel is 4,125 feet long.

I have a new car so I didn't really know the the amount of petrol one has in a reserve tank!

The scene

I am driving south of the river and all of a sudden, I am in the tunnel and the petrol light comes on. I am horrified I never go into a tunnel without petrol because well it's dangerous and irresponsible, and I am also very claustrophobic in tunnels!!!

Anyway the day before I was asking a client about her fear and how it affects our choices. So to make an example of myself (I like to practice what I preach). I decided to test the emotional responses to fear

So as the panic and negative self-talk set in I decided to ask myself

What part of me is fearful, where is it located?

What is the wise intuitive part of me saying and what is it saying? Where is it located in my body?

believe me everything slows down especially if your practising deep breathing to calm yourself down

After practising the questions and dialogue the journey through the tunnel was the quickest journey I ever had....

For the key was slowing down and stepping away from the panic or fear by breathing (which we forget to do) also self-talk is a really good way of staying calm. The aim is to talk to yourself like you would talk to a dear friend. This is a good way of calming yourself down so don't beat up or hate on yourself doesn’t help the situation at all.

In my early twenties I suffered from panic attacks and during that time all rationality went out of the window however, a tool I used to get out of the panic state was to give myself positive and reassuring talks rather than run around and create more drama. There are times where the batons of support during fearful times have to be passed to my circle of care/friends/gypsy crew (that’s why it’s important to have good people around you).

The lesson of this journey is balance and being still in a crisis if you cannot do that find a way to get there as soon as you can.

What do you do to remain centred?

Podcast rebranding- The Candid Conversations show Episode 17 Shame.

The is the first episode of our Rebranded show now called The Candid Conversations show. 

Today I discuss Shame and Vulnerability and how it affects our daily lives, relationships, jobs and mental health.

Trigger warning ! This episode may bring up old feelings so I have included links that you visit and use for support.

Music by Rebbz

This episode is sponsered by Willique -Exceptional quality handbags available 

https://www.talkspace.com/

https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en 

Anodea Judith - Chakras and Shame  https://www.mixcloud.com/alignpodcast/anodea-judith-eastern-body-western-mind-chakra-system-ep-137/

Biodynamic Massage 

Alexander Lowen exercises. 

People Pleasing Over achieving

Sometimes finding the right way to start a blog post is like splitting hairs, I have to be motivated to start the topic otherwise being in my head just makes me freeze like a Deer in headlights.  My anxiety and top dog wants to make me stop because the topic is just not 'smart ' enough.  So, I must wait until my heart is ready to stand in its courage and speak its truth and my truth is;

I am a chronic people pleaser and over achiever

I am also very creative with a 1000 ideas per hour moving through me,  I am also good at monetizing those ideas to make them work for me.

After reading this article I realise how it was important to admit, feel and let go of the need to justify why I had so many streams of income (my embarrassment was linked to people judging me for 'being different)..  

Trying to please others and over achievingis like having an addiction because we are never able to satisfy that craving it will always be the next goal to achieve and the next person to please.   I am have a distinction between my creative energy and overachieving people pleasing.

My creative drive is through an inner guidance that sometimes does not make sense, something I felt when I created the paintings for the 2017 Calender.

My people pleasing is from the need to be praised or an idea suggested by others. 

When I first moved into my studio I felt so small like a fraud as I ignored that voice that said "don't worry you will soon fill this up" and within months I created most of the images for my calendar.  But at the time I was doubting who I was and why did I need to have this studio, because the desire to have the studio was my longing not from others suggesting I have it, I pleased my (inner) self.  .

You don’t know what level is your comfort zone until you are challenged, and one of those challenges are to stop pleasing others and start pleasing yourself.

Suggestion: Chose 5 major choicesyou made in your life and write down the reasons behind the choice and who influenced you.

Post your answers in the comments below.

Marilyn x

Mental Health Awareness Day

Today is Mental Health Awareness day and according to World Health Organisation depression will be the leading illness globally by 2030. if we do not act to combat this disease.

In the UK we have 615 million people suffering from Anxiety and Depression and 1 in 4 people will experience one diagnose Mental health condition, statistics that are higher in Ethnic minorities.

So If we live in a society that caters to our every need why is it that Mental health especially in Young people and those from ethnic backgrounds are on the rise?

Well most answers point to our lifestyle, the breakdown of communities, debt, the breakdown of families, racism, sexism thatall contribute to our mental and emotional distress.

I have candidly explained my own struggle with anxiety as a young woman here

Every year there is a theme for Mental health awareness day and this year the theme is Psychological First aid, and the support people can provide to those in distress.

The World Health organisation has listed tips and ways to support and donate to this cause on their website

I have listed 5 tips on how to cope with Panic attacks and anxiety.

1.  Anxiety and Panic Attacks are normally about an underlying problem so the first step is finding a counsellor or therapist (through your GP or support group) that will help you work through any issues.

2. Exercise or yoga classes will help Anxiety and if your mind is racing then Astanga or Power Yoga will help you because of the active style will encourage you to focus on the postures that will occupy an anxious mind..

3. Complimentary therapies were invaluable to me and my clients when I worked as an Aromatherapist/Healer.  Oils that help Anxiety and depression such as Frankincense will encourages deeper breathing which is hell to somebody hyperventilating due to Anxiety.  

Frankincense - Great for relaxing and slowing your breath and calming the mind.

Geranium - Good for balancing and uplifting your mind.

Bergamot - One of the best oils for Depression (please be careful of sunlight).

Rose essential Oil -  A workshop participant who had severe depression used pure Rose essential oil and found this lifted the depression, excellent for grief also.

4.  The practice of mindfulness ; Being in the present can help, I use my art to help with anxiety or meditation.  Art journallingor working with colouring books can help.

5 The practice of gratitude - Listing small accomplishments of your day, week or life is said to help and improve your mental health.

We also have essential oil sets available in our store or join one of our workshops or courses.

Enjoy this article then please Like and Share.  

Self Care for Therapists

I remember my first encounter with Burnout I was working as a Beauty and Holistic Therapist at Bliss Clinic in Portobello Road in early 2001; After four years practicing I had to give up bodywork for a long time due to a lack of self-care. I had a good number of regular clients but I could no longer physically work at the level I was used too. I believe my need for external validation of making others feel better was the driving force of allowing my own resources to become dry.

Eventually I moved into Coaching and Training others to become Therapists which again led me to Burnout.  So in 2012 I retired from over-giving and I changed my way of working.

During this time my mentor/therapist would remind me that I have been a classic rescuer so over giving is in my nature.

Over giving is often in the nature of Healers, Artists, Therapists and can be linked to the Karpman Drama triangle ‘PVR’ triangle, where one becomes the Rescuer and gives tirelessly and eventually collapses with exhaustion or become either a victim or persecutor (see video).

“Work is Love made Visible” – Kahlil Gibran

We love our work but there needs to be some exchange because as a Creative Healer our work is our life, but we need to be able to tap into other sources so we can work better.

I like to use the percentage model with my clients; How much percentage does your work take? for example if it is 50% what are the percentages for other areas in your life? for a Healer therapist I believe rest should be very high on your list unless you have a specific project.  This model comes from a more complex model used by the Aztec healers explained by the now departed Healer Elena Avila in her book Women who Glows in the Dark. The Author explains the Aztec model for Healers in more detail.
It is really important for you to have a plan or an ethos for living as a pioneer because anything less would be detrimental to your growth.

Six ways to bring balance and self-care into your life.
1 Community (Partner /Friends/ Family)
2 Rest and Relaxation
3 Exercise
4 Going out in nature
5 Mediation, Prayer, Gratitude, Creativity
6 Healthy Food

If you would like to know more or have some support on self-care, please sign up for our newsletter and join our free course the Creative healing coaching course.